Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
