tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize