So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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