therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
