i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
