No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
