This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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