please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
