So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
