Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I would ride that face into the sunset
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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