Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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