Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
