P.S. I can't hear my feet
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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