he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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