We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
