I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
