We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize