So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize