almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
