Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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