Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
