just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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