Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
