Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize