I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
