I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
