birth control should be required to get into college
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
