I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
