Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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