Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize