if you like me you must not know who I am
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
