My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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