Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
