I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
