I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
