Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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