just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
