So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize