When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
