so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
