some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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