This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
