Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
