"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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