No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
