i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
