thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
