garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
