I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize