Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
