It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
True college students do jello shots in the library
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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