Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
