Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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