this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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