problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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