Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's not a walk of shame if you run
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
