Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
