He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize