Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i would one night stand the shit outta him
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
