Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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