a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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