On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
