is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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