doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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