I just made out with a guy for $7.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
