I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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