He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
