We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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