I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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