Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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