would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
