That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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