Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize