I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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