how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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