He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
