I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
