so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
