Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
