did you get engaged???
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
