I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
