and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
