So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize