No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
