Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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