Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
